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I’m sure you’ve heard the news: a Facebook smartwatch is on the way. And you know how this makes me feel? Absolutely fantastic.

There are few things I’d like more than for the company to track my every single movement and access a raft of health data — and what better way of doing that is there than a Facebook smartwatch?

But… I have a dilemma.

Ideally, I’d like to give Facebook more of my personal data than a simple wrist-bound wearable can deliver. There’s only one solution: ZuckTech. And lots of it.

Luckily for you and Facebook, I’m just the man to create it. Let’s get thinking.

A Facebook thermometer

The Facebook smartwatch will have my heart rate and movement data, but it most likely won’t have access to more intimate details of my body.

So how about Zuckerberg releases a Facebook thermometer? That’s a suppository? That also takes blood? And cannot be removed without surgical assistance? That’s some quality ZuckTech right there.